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主题: 师生难相处 语言关难过

留学生的生活是非常寂寞和孤单,不论是两年硕士、四年学士、还是更长时间的博士生,都逃避不了一个人呆在图书馆苦读的日子。图为德州州立大学奥斯汀分校PCL图书馆一角。

据美国《侨报》报道,负笈西行的理由有千百种,孙中山先生当年留学美国,也是在“沧海之大轮船之奇”的驱使下走出国门。如今华人学子漂洋过海,有的想看看美式自由;有人追求世界顶尖的教育;有人逃避中国升学就业的种种压力;有人苦苦挣扎只因一颗不断挑战自我的决心。无论梦想是否实现, 他们最终发觉,美国的生活看似无拘无束却寂寞如孤山,中国的日子虽然压力重重但亲切而有人情味。

苍白无趣的异国生活

小白(化名)有万千留学生同样的困惑,10年前高考是她人生的目标,大学毕业后读研是她的新目标。尽管实现目标的过程一波三折,但有明确的目标可以奋斗对她来说是件美好的事情。研究生毕业后因为对步入社会的恐惧,2008年她只身来到美国开始了攻读女博士的生活。但初到美国的两三个月让小白刻骨铭心。“刚来美国,预订的公寓没有家具,而且没有车也没有认识的朋友。来美国的前三天就是天黑后躺在地板上辗转反侧直到天亮。”小白说。

由于吃不惯美国的汉堡薯条也不清楚哪里有中餐馆,以牛奶麦片度日,三餐不继。而这个在父母同学眼中“生活不能自理”的女孩,开始独自撑起了从买家具到洗衣做饭的各种琐事。她熟知去学校和商店的各路公交车的路线及时刻表;她了解各种商品在不同商场的价格差异;她学会如何在美国银行开户、办理手机业务、买保险、和看医生;她开始尝试自己做饭。

昔日小白有一班好友能互相帮助,闲来逛街喝酒聊天。但在陌生的国度,孤独让她意识到结交朋友的重要性。小白也认识了一些中外朋友,可是那友谊却淡的没有滋味。除了在学校偶遇打个照面,他们的生活很少有交集。更不可思议的是,这友谊就像手中沙,抓的越紧溜得越快。小白越努力的去维护这段友谊,就越觉得对方很冷淡。真正有困难想找人帮忙的时候,每个人都忙得不见踪影。她又是如此倔强的女孩,不愿意给别人添麻烦也不想找不熟悉的人帮忙。

“在美国,人们之间的关系很有意思。无论是在校园还是校外,即使互不相识,美国人都会面带微笑,热情的跟我打招呼。反而是中国人,大家迎面走来四目相对,就这样悄无声息的擦肩而过了。”小白说。

在美国的日子似乎每天都一样,除了上课可以见到同学,其余大部分时间都是呆在办公室里埋头干活,或龟缩在卧室里上网。由于无法适应美国的食物,小白还要花大量的时间做饭和洗碗。她以为自己来美国后可以全身心的投入博士学习中,却发现自己俨然成了一个保姆,时间都花在家务上。

小白经常质疑自己,这种生活是不是自己的美国梦! 如果在中国,我根本不用浪费时间在这些生活琐事上。

不可攻破的语言围城

除了生活上无所依靠,留学生初到美国都会面临的严峻考验就是语言障碍。在国内看美国电影听美国音乐长大的小白在同龄人中算是英语水平较好的,可是她来美国后却发现,去商场购物时自己无法清楚表达想要什么;生活中与美国人交流大多数时候都不懂装懂;上课也听不懂老师和同学在讨论什么。

“生活中美国人说话语速非常快,还夹杂着各种口音,并不像电影里那么清晰易懂。而且我听不懂他们说话就紧张,一紧张就更不知道他们在说什么,自己该说什么了。”小白说。

语言障碍不仅影响中国留学生和美国人之间的良好沟通,也是中国留学生难以融入美国社会的主要原因。美国的大学课堂多以小组讨论或研讨会的方式进行。即使是老师一人授课,也非常看重学生积极参与课堂讨论的能力。

学生的课堂表现和发言在很大程度上左右老师对一个学生专业能力的判断。这一点在文科类专业尤其明显,很多文科类课程的期末总成绩中,课堂参与度通常和期末考试分数占有相同或者更多的比重。美国学生在课堂上表现的非常活跃,和老师探讨问题就像与朋友聊天一样轻松,因此他们在课堂参与度的考评上通常都是满分。而大部分中国学生考试成绩和作业成绩都很优异,却因为语言问题在课堂上无法积极参与讨论,最终影响课程的整体成绩。

“我有一些课程就是因为课堂参与不够而无法拿A,这是一个可笑又无奈的结果。至今我和我的导师讨论问题时,都是他一直在讲,我点头或摇头。值得庆幸的是,我已经习惯了他的口音。”小白说。

在美国,理工科学生是否能拿到奖学金主要取决于能不能找到合适的导师。而中国留学生因为语言障碍无法与美国导师进行有效的沟通,很多时候都与奖学金失之交臂。文科类学生来说,他们自始至终都在和美国人拼语言。读书期间他们收到的最多的作业评语是“论文语法错误太多,请找美国人修改后再上交”,毕业后找工作也会因为语言问题而无法进入美国公司。

小白说,她原以为来到美国这个纯英语的环境可以提高英语,却发现她的室友和办公室的同事都是中国人。每天除了上课,其他时间都在说中文。语言的障碍又让她没有自信和美国人交流,就失去了更多练习英语的机会。在两年半的留学生活中,她只有英语听力在经常听课和与导师讨论的过程中得到锻炼和提高。

难以言语的师生关系

除了语言障碍,如何处理和导师之间的关系是最令中国学生头疼的事情。因为沟通不顺畅而且文化有差异,中国学生和美国导师之间仿佛总隔着一层纱,互相都在猜测对方的想法。而很多美国大学里的中国老师,也因为担心和中国学生走得太近会在美国老师和学生中产生不良影响而拉远与中国学生的距离。

“最开始的日子,我的美国导师一天要去我办公室好几次,有时候仅仅是闲聊几句或者问候一下。而我们这里的一个中国老师也很奇怪,我和他单独讨论问题的时候他都会用中文,如果有美国学生在场,他从来都是说英语的。”小白说。

然而,导师掌握着一个学生奖学金的发放和毕业认可权,和导师关系的僵化会直接导致该学生失去财力或无法拿到毕业证书。很多中国留学生为了申请奖学金,便去申请容易拿奖而并非自己喜欢的专业。可是美国的老师非常注重学生对自己研究的兴趣是否浓厚。这些学生很容易因为对研究不太了解或缺乏兴趣而与导师产生矛盾,最终失去继续读书的机会。也有很多中国学生因为遇到要求非常苛刻的老师或者与自己研究方向不吻合的老师而每天煎熬在学术苦海中。这样的压力远比生活的艰辛所产生的负担更让人难以释怀。

在留学生中,还流传着一个关于美国大学导师相处难易程度的排行榜:白人男导师是最容易相处的 ,其次是黑人男导师,再次是白人和黑人女导师,最后是亚裔和其他族裔的导师。

真真假假的情感纠葛

早在来美国之前,单身的小白就曾憧憬过在美国开始一段美好的恋情。因为据统计,赴美中国留学生的男女比例严重失调,高达3:1。2011年,即将奔三的小白依然独身一人。感情问题也是她每次和父母电话聊天中不可避免的争论。

“在美国的生活太封闭了,每天办公室公寓两点一线的生活方式很难认识新的人。而且很多看起来不错的人早已不再单身,而单身的人貌似永远单着。”小白说。

缺乏沟通其实已经成为一个不可忽视的社会问题。科技的发展看似让人与人的沟通方便快捷,实则疏远了感情和心理活动的交流。很多留学生都像小白一样,除了上课帮导师做研究,其余的时间就游离在网络世界里,或者只和同学院的学生交流。这不可避免的导致他们的生活圈子永远被限制在一个狭小的范围内。很多人因为在现实生活中难以遇到新的朋友,就去网络上寻找自己的另一半。其中不乏有人成功,但更多的是因为网络的不可捉摸和欺骗性而失败告终。

狭小的生活圈子虽然不利于感情的发展却是滋生流言蜚语的温床。一段感情的开始或终结都会被各种谣传夸大和歪曲,这导致很多留学生因害怕流言的影响而徘徊在感情之外。美国枯燥孤单的生活也容易使真正的感情变质。很多时候,大家只是因为寂寞而需要别人陪伴,而并非是因为真爱才走在一起。

小白曾苦恋一个男孩十年,她对爱情的执着使她很难认同留学生中因寂寞而相恋的感情。她在国内的同学们都纷纷结婚生子了,听到这样的消息和母亲的不断催促,她也难免独自落泪。

“有时候我觉得自己很失败。我的同学们都成家立业了,我还在象牙塔里躲藏;他们都结婚生子了,我却不知道还要一个人走多久。也许不来美国,我可能也已结婚生子,过着普通白领的生活。可是谁又知道呢?”小白说。

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回复: 师生难相处 语言关难过

我真的能 sad

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回复: 师生难相处 语言关难过

can i?i can? sad

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回复: 师生难相处 语言关难过

Student life is very lonely and alone, whether two-year master degree four years, or longer period of time doctoral student, are not a person to escape the day in the library studying hard. The picture shows the PCL of Texas at Austin State University Library iceberg.

According to the U.S., "Qiao Bao" reported that Fuji westbound thousand reasons, Dr. Sun Yat-year study in the U.S., but also in the "sea of the great ship of the Church," driven out of the country. Chinese students now travel on the sea, and some want to see the American freedom; was the pursuit of the world's leading education; people to escape the pressures of China careers; was struggling because a determination to continue to challenge themselves. Whether the dream is realized, they finally found that life in America has seemingly unrestrained lonely as Gushan, China, although stressful day, but warm and human face.

Pale dull living abroad

White (a pseudonym) has thousands of students the same confusion, the college entrance examination 10 years ago, the goal of her life after graduating from college graduate is her new target. Although the process of achieving goals twists and turns, but there are clear targets to fight for her is a beautiful thing. After graduate school because of fear into the community, came to the U.S. alone in 2008 she began studying for doctoral students of life. However, two or three months early so that white America wanted to be. "First came to the United States, booking the apartment was no furniture and no car and no acquaintances. To the United States is the first three days lying on the floor after dark, tossing until dawn." White said.

Hamburg United States because not used to french fries do not know where the restaurants, cereal with milk, live, nothing to eat. And the eyes of students in the parents, "life can not take care of themselves," the girl began to hold up alone to buy furniture from a variety of cooking and cleaning chores. Her well-known separate ways to school and shops and bus route schedules; her understanding of various goods in different shopping malls in the price difference; she learned how to open a bank account in the United States, for the mobile phone business, buying insurance, and to see a doctor; she began try to cook their own food.

Past a group of white friends can help each other, free to drink and chat shopping. But in a strange country, alone so she realized the importance of making friends. White also met some foreign friends, but that friendship has no taste lighter. In addition to the school to make a face to face encounter, their lives rarely intersect. Even more incredible is that this hand of friendship is like sand, the more tightly grasping the slide faster. More effort to maintain white this friendship, the more that the other is cold. Real difficulties when looking for help, everyone too busy sight. She is so stubborn girl, do not want to trouble others are not looking for people who are not familiar with to help.

"In the U.S., the relationship between people is very interesting. Whether in school or outside, even strangers, Americans will be smiling, friendly and say hello. Instead, the Chinese people, we face came standing face to face, So pass the silent. "White said.

Days in the United States seems the same every day, except for school students can see, the rest stay in the office most of the time are hard at work, or holed up in a bedroom online. Unable to adapt to American food, White would also like to spend a lot of time cooking and washing dishes. She thought he came to the U.S. fully involved after learning of Dr., but found himself seems to have become a nanny, the time spent on housework.

White always doubted myself, this life is not his own American Dream! If in China, I do not have to waste time on these trivial things of life.

Assassins can not break the language

In addition to no family life, students first arrived in the United States will face a severe test is the language barrier. Watching American movies in the country grew up listening to American music, white peers considered in good English, but she came to America only to find that, going shopping when they can not clearly express what you want; life exchanges with the Americans pretend to understand most of the time; class could not understand what teachers and students in the discussion.

"Life in the United States tend to speak very fast, mingled with a variety of accents, not like the movie so clear and understandable. And I do not understand that they speak to tension, a tension is even more do not know what they are saying that he what to say. "White said.

Language barriers not only affect Chinese students and good communication between the Americans, but also difficult to integrate into American society, Chinese students in the main. Mostly American college classroom or seminar group discussions conducted. Even the teacher who taught the students also value the ability to actively participate in class discussions.

Student performance and classroom teachers to speak about in large part on professional competence to judge a student. This is particularly evident in the liberal arts majors, a lot of liberal arts courses in the final grade in class participation and final exam scores usually occupy the same proportion or more. U.S. student performance in class is very active, and teachers of the problem as easy as chatting with friends, participation in the classroom so they usually are out of the appraisal. Most Chinese students test scores and job performance are excellent, but because of language problems can not actively participate in class discussions, and ultimately affect the overall results of the course.

"I have some courses because class participation is not enough and can not get A, this is the result of a ridiculous and helpless. So far I have discussed the issue with my mentor when he has been talking about are, I nodded or shook his head. The good news is I have become accustomed to his accent. "White said.

In the U.S., science and engineering students depends on whether the scholarship could not find a suitable mentor. The Chinese students because of language barriers with the United States can not communicate effectively mentor, often missed with the scholarship. Liberal arts students, they have all along and the Americans to fight in the language. Study during which they received the most job reviews are "too many grammatical errors papers, please look for changes and then turned over to the Americans," will find a job after graduation because of language problems and can not enter the United States company.

White said she thought that came to the U.S. this pure English environment can improve their English, but found that her roommate and office colleagues are Chinese. In addition to daily classes, all other times speak Chinese. The language barrier did she lack self-confidence and Americans share to lose more opportunities to practice English. In the two and a half of student life, she is only listening with regular lectures and discussions during the process of teacher training and improvement.

Teacher-student relationship is difficult speech

In addition to language barriers, how to deal with the relationship between the mentor is the most difficult thing for Chinese students. Because communication is not smooth and culture differences between Chinese students and instructors as if the total U.S. yarn across the floor with each other in guessing each other's ideas. Many American universities, Chinese teachers and Chinese students are too close for fear of American teachers and students will have a negative impact in China pulled away from the students.

"The first day, go to my American mentor my office several times a day, sometimes just small talk or say hello. And a Chinese teacher here is very strange, I alone with him when he will discuss issues Chinese, if the presence of American students, he has been speaking English. "White said.

However, the instructors hold a graduate student scholarship and grant recognition rights, and the mentor relationship will be a direct result of the rigidity of the students lost financial resources or can not get a diploma. Many Chinese students to apply for a scholarship, then easily winning the prize and not to apply for their favorite professional. But the United States attaches great importance to the teachers for their students is a strong interest in the study. These students are very easy because of not understanding or lack of interest in a conflict with the instructor, and ultimately lost the opportunity to continue studying. There are many Chinese students are very demanding requirements for experienced teachers or research do not fit with their teachers and suffering every day in the academic Oliver. Such pressure generated by the hardships of life than the burden even more difficult to explain.

The students, it is also circulating a live tutor on the ease of American University's list: white male mentors is the most easy to get along, followed by black male teacher, is again white and black female teacher, and finally the Asian and other ethnic American teacher.

The true emotional entanglements

Before coming to the U.S. early, single, white had been in the United States began to look forward to a wonderful relationship. Because, according to statistics, the United States of Chinese students serious imbalance in sex ratio as high as 3:1. 2011, Pentium III will remain single one white. Emotional problems as well as her phone chat with their parents every time the inevitable controversy.

"Life in the United States is too closed, the front line every day office life difficult two apartments to meet new people. And many people no longer look good single, and single people with seemingly never alone." White said.

In fact, lack of communication has become a social problem can not be ignored. The development of technology to facilitate communication between people seem so quick, but in fact alienated the exchange of emotional and mental activity. Many students are the same as white, except for school to do research to help mentor the rest of the time free in the online world, or only, and with the College students. This inevitably led to their social circles will always be limited to a narrow range. Many people in real life is difficult to meet new friends, go online to find their other half. Many of them was successful, but more elusive and deceptive because the network failed.

Although the narrow circle of life is not conducive to the breeding of emotional development is a hotbed of gossip. The beginning or end of a relationship will be all kinds of rumors exaggerated and distorted, resulting in many students fear the impact of gossip in the emotional wandering outside. Boring lonely life of the United States is also easy to make a real emotional deterioration. Many times, we just need someone to accompany loneliness, not only because of love go together.

White was a boy ten years Unrequited Love, love, her dedication to her students is difficult to identify the feelings of falling in love because of loneliness. Her classmates were in the country have married and have children, and hear the message and the mother constantly urged her to tears inevitably alone.

"Sometimes I feel like a failure. My classmates are married, and I was hiding the ivory tower; they marry and have children, I do not know how long must a man walk. May not come to the United States, I may have have been married, living the life of ordinary white-collar workers. But who knows? "White said.

【Statement】 Where exclusive articles marked with "silly Advisory Centre" from the article, without authorization, any media, and individuals may reproduced in whole or in part. For reprint, please contact with the stupid network; Reprinted with permission Please be sure to indicate the source, and offenders will be punished this site.

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回复: 师生难相处 语言关难过

sad

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回复: 师生难相处 语言关难过

two thumbs up!

君子之交淡若水,小人之交甘若醴

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回复: 师生难相处 语言关难过

害怕中...

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回复: 师生难相处 语言关难过

edward 写:

害怕中...

Never fear! There is nothing to be scared of.  When hungry, han bao bao is available everywhere. 
不用怕,没什么好怕的。饿的时候到处都有han bao bao.

君子之交淡若水,小人之交甘若醴

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回复: 师生难相处 语言关难过

sad 但是文章说的事情一直在发生

我又如此强烈的想容入西方社会

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回复: 师生难相处 语言关难过

edward 写:

sad 但是文章说的事情一直在发生

我又如此强烈的想容入西方社会

Take things as they come.  I am sure you will find a way to adapt yourself to the new life here, don't be a worrier now but plan  your things carefully.  After  landing don't be shy,  you can improve your English by talking to local Canadians, your native English-speaking classmates, etc.

君子之交淡若水,小人之交甘若醴

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回复: 师生难相处 语言关难过

smile u r my idol,i should go to bed

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回复: 师生难相处 语言关难过

good night smile  smile  smile  smile  smile  smile  smile  smile  smile  smile  smile  smile  smile  smile  smile  smile  smile  smile  smile  smile  smile  smile  smile  smile  smile  smile  smile  smile  smile  smile

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回复: 师生难相处 语言关难过

呕吐的对像。

君子之交淡若水,小人之交甘若醴

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回复: 师生难相处 语言关难过

roll  sad

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回复: 师生难相处 语言关难过

我是你呕吐的对象I am the one who would make you throw up.

君子之交淡若水,小人之交甘若醴

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回复: 师生难相处 语言关难过

我遇到过的美国人比法国人以及欧洲以及印度埃及这边的人 冷漠。老师倒还好。话说也蛮丢脸的。

英语学的太闭塞。。。如果没有环境和自己真的想攻克的决心以及那么一点语言天赋。到英语国度,是件痛苦的事情。

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